ache

by Sapphic Lasers

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1.
Some they want a girl next door But that ain't what I'm looking for I first saw your lips across the room Red like a blood moon You had polished boots All dressed in black And when you looked my way I just couldn't look back Boys say they find you intimidating But I found you too captivating And my baby likes whiskey and black leather And she's not the only one Nails like daggers that were guarding hearts Green eyes winning at a game of darts And you were looking so tough Girl I can't get enough of your secret sugar, hot stuff And you never looked better drinking whiskey in leather My baby likes whiskey and black leather And she's not the only one
2.
Sirens sing my dreams at night Songs of running yellow lights I been told so many lies by now I hardly know up from down I was the anchor that you kept around You were the tornado that tore through this town I got a weakness for kisses like fast cars I lost track of the sun and the stars And if you saw me walking down the street Oh honey you would hardly recognize me Cuz baby I'm a runner now Baby I'm a runner, baby I'm a runner, oh baby I'm a runner, now Truth looks different in your mirrors And the wind changes when you speak But my tired eyes now see clearer Your love ain't the weather And you can't control me with your hurricanes of fear And if you saw me walking down the street Oh honey you would hardly recognize me Cuz baby I'm a runner now And if I ever feel the muscle of a tongue Well honey I'll be out right before you're done Cuz baby I'm a runner now And if anybody ever raises a hand against me I'll be gone so fast, you could hardly see Cuz baby I'm a runner now Oh baby I'm a runner now
3.
I don't want to be a cowboy Leaving hearts behind with a restless eye Oh no don't want to bury my heart In the faded ground of a one horse town Oh no I don't want to be a business man Shaking dirty hands I don't want to be a soldier March past people dying in 4/4 time Oh no I'm searching for alternative masculinities Alternative masculinities I don't want to shun All that is feminine I don't want to put her down To be man enough for someone And I don't wanna be a cowboy I don't wanna be a businessman We gotta break it down, before we build it up New genders, like castles made from sand Alternative masculinities
4.
Well I remember when I was 19 and I went to a bar in the big city Far from my town, in Montreal, feeling summer turning red and burning into fall I had no friends, only whiskey shots, that I took down fast to drown my thoughts Country shoes and shaky hands in a subculture I didn't understand And first kisses they lined the walls And last kisses covered bathroom stalls And it was there that I saw my first femme and I never fell in love with a straight girl again And I remember when that bar up and closed cuz of money, or problems, nobody knows I stood there with tears in my eyes and an older surly butch bout twice my size said: Dyke bars never last Kid don't you know that dyke bars never last And don't you know that Dyke bars never last I moved to the Bay when I was 23 With a broken heart and no money Out at night and looking for some fun So I fucked you in the back of the Lexington Put your songs on the jukebox baby And I promise I will sing along And we will dance like we're running out of time And nothing ever could go wrong Putting all your songs in the jukebox That's the way, that's the way To sink a quarter right into my heart tonight Dyke bars never last Kid don't you know that dyke bars never last And don't you know that Dyke bars never last The Lexington just closed for good And none of my friends live in my neighborhood anymore I turned to you, sugar, say where you wanna go? And you say: hey boy, I just don't know Now that we're older we say Dyke bars never last Well it was good while it was Honey you were good while you were Dyke bars never last
5.
Sometimes I dream about the parallel lives I've tried I try to find your smile in my mind's museum But this city is a mausoleum And I'm still walking down the same streets I walked with you With strange feet cuz I know it's true You left your glitter on the corner where we said goodbye And the echo of your cowboy boots walking by And sometimes an end It don't feel like an end But I follow where the river bends Sometimes the hope Lies in the changing coast Oh you left me learning how to fall out of love with a ghost You left me learning how to fall out of love with a ghost My heart rises like a full moon inside of me Howling like a wolf to the East There's no way to make amends for what you done It's like the silence of a gun Oh you broke my heart two times last year In living and in death And I remember our last kiss, and I am haunted by your last breath And in my throat still chokes The last words to me that you ever wrote in your suicide note And sometimes an end It don't feel like an end But I follow where the river bends Sometimes the hope Lies in the changing coast Oh you left me learning how to fall out of love with a ghost Out of love with a ghost
6.
Dead Name 05:06
Some have called me lover, a home made where our bodies meet Some have called me Other, a failed boy in the streets All my life is people telling me what's wrong or right But no one can tell you who you are in the middle of the night I been called a brother and a sister I been called a m'am and a mister Hot-blooded and cold When walking out the door when the lies got old Well, you can call me anything you want But you can't call me my dead name Oh, you can call me anything you want But you can't call me my dead name And nobody knows just how long I was, I was a sucker baby Oh just a sucker baby I been called a loser and winner I been called a saint and a sinner I been called weak, then tough Your everything and then not enough Well, you can call me anything you want But you can't call me my dead name Oh, you can call me anything you want But you can't call me my dead name I was, I was a sucker baby Oh just a sucker baby But not anymore, not anymore

about

Sapphic Lasers is a queer butch electronic pop music project located in Oakland, CA. The sound of the 80s colliding with the 2010s and emo masc synthscapes. Songs about unapologetically queer subjects, butch-femme love songs, politicized pop hooks, grief, kink & more.

Contact for more info or booking: sapphiclasers@gmail.com.

credits

released June 18, 2018

All songs written and performed by Sapphic Lasers. Guitars, synths, vocals, production by Sapphic Lasers. Recorded by engineer Kelley Coyne at Women's Audio Mission. Mixed by LD Dean. Mastered at Neato Mastering by Piper Payne.

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Sapphic Lasers Oakland, California

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